"16 years ago I discovered my husband was a transvestite. I tried to understand and accept but cannot. He says it is a part of his nature and he is happy to be a man but needs to express his feminine side. But I see how it has progressed over the years, from dressing at home to going away for events with other transvestites. He even had his picture in the local paper dressed in a gold mini dress and blond wig. He has a constant need to look at himself in the mirror and take pics and videos of himself to watch. Our youngest daughter found some and was very disturbed. I know love should be unconditional and marriage for life. But I see how selfish this makes him. Its as if he has himself to love and I am redundant So much self love can not be good for ones spirit. Can you guide me please? Don’t know whether I have to accept or move on. Thank you."
- Ann
--------------------------------------------------
If you would like to provide your response to this question, we encourage you to respond by visiting this link: http://soulsolutionshealing.com/beacommunityresponder.html .
Responses to this question will be posted by the SSG community via "blog comments" on an elective, individual basis. In order to read these responses, you must visit this post at the SSG Team Blog, and click the "Comments" link under this post.
Disclaimer: All participants are informed prior to engaging in SSG Questions and Answers that spiritual answers given from SSG staff and the SSG community are for spiritual growth purposes only, and are not meant to be used as a substitute for psychiatric, medical, or professional treatment of any kind. By submitting questions and receiving spiritual answers from SSG, participants have consented to release SSG and its community from all liability. See our legal section for more information.
Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson
-
I shared this recently in the Be Inspired Today Forum and thought I would
share it here as well.
*“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our...
2 months ago
2 comments:
Hi Ann,
No one can tell you what decision is right for you. But, it sounds like you might be leaning towards making a permanent change. If you do so, can you leave in love?
I ask because if you can accept your husband as he is, and if you can accept yourself as you are in this situation, will there be a need for you to change it?
Your choice boils down to what you will accept and wont accept for yourself. What do you need in your marriage? Are you receiving it? Is it time to have a serious heart to heart talk with him?
The potential for change is all around you. What's stopping you from taking a step? It's okay to talk about this stuff to just feel better about it. Doing so, even without a permanent resolution, is still a concrete step towards resolving it.
You can choose to see the light in him, and honor that. If you feel you can create total acceptance of your husband, you might find an interesting spiritual link pertaining to how much you are actually accepting yourself in this situation, and in general.
You might also seek out a marriage counselor who specializes with these issues. There is a lot involved with your issue, and you will inevitably invest as much care in resolving it successfully as with as much worthiness as you feel for yourself.
You have to decide what is right for you, of course. And it will boil down to what you are willing to accept in him, in you, and in your relationship. I'd recommend praying or talking to God about it for guidance, and allowing things to naturally shift without your resistance or expectation. Trust yourself. Follow your inner guidance.
Hello Ann,
In our society, too many of us place too many demands on love; to the point that we develop unrealistic expectations of it. Regardless of how far the limitations of our emotional love can be stretched, and for whatever reasons, it still has limitations.
Unconditional love is spiritual love and is without emotion. Because it is without limitation or expectation, it is without any feeling of fear or loss or need for validation or expression in any recognizable manner. I know of no marriage that is based solely on unconditional love.
This is by no means justifying that love can be used as a weapon of control – but that’s what too many people do with it. How many times have you heard the statement, “If you loved me, you would…” You can fill in the blank with countless demands. How many times have you told yourself, “If I loved him, I would…”
In ego’s attempt to control us and to keep us perpetually fragmented from God, ego uses emotional love as a tool of trade and weapon of control. It is from ego’s perspective of love where all our troubles with our romanticized version of love stem – whether it’s trying to stretch emotional love into unconditional love or trying to cover our deepest fears or guilt with layers of emotion and need and justification that we’ve labeled as love.
When you compound all this with massive layers of society’s limited tolerance, expectations, and mass consciousness, you’ll come to see that we struggle with love far more than simply letting it BE. But, as long as we confuse emotional love with spiritual/unconditional love, we’ll always be enslaved to the whims, fears, and limitations of ego.
Recognize first what kind of love you labor under in regards to your husband. What kind of love do you struggle with in terms of society’s expectations of your husband’s behavior? What kind of love is expressed with his obsession of self?
Understanding the delusions of ego’s brand of love may help you resolve your issue with accepting your husband or “moving on” and it may help you come to terms with whatever guilt lies hidden that’s causing your anguish.
With Light & Love,
Ronnie
--------------------------------------------------
If you would like to provide your response to this question, we encourage you to respond by visiting this link: http://soulsolutionshealing.com/beacommunityresponder.html .
Responses to this question will be posted by the SSG community via "blog comments" on an elective, individual basis. In order to read these responses, you must visit this post at the SSG Team Blog, and click the "Comments" link under this post.
Disclaimer: All participants are informed prior to engaging in SSG Questions and Answers that spiritual answers given from SSG staff and the SSG community are for spiritual growth purposes only, and are not meant to be used as a substitute for psychiatric, medical, or professional treatment of any kind. By submitting questions and receiving spiritual answers from SSG, participants have consented to release SSG and its community from all liability. See our legal section for more information.
Post a Comment